AFTER MR. CERNUDA’S UNEXPECTED DEATH, most of the regular customers

Here's to a happy and inspiring new year! Annette 💃 ___________________________ *Annette Sandoval's latest novel is a cutting take on race and women, with savory culinary details that make the recipes almost characters in themselves. "Women Are Like Chickens: All Eggs, Breast, Eggs and Thighs" (Harvard Square Editions) Feb. 1, 2019, transports literary fiction to a new multicultural level. Here's a Q & A with the author:* *Q: Your latest novel, Women Are Like Chickens is a tribute to friendship. Where did such strong characters come from? * When I was six, my aunt and I watched as a group of men made kissy sounds at a passing woman. One of the men said, *"Ay mami! *Planet on *mi* face!" Embarrassed and caught unawares the young woman almost tripped. As the men laughed my *Tia Pachita* rolled her eyes and said to me, "To men, women are like chickens—all breast, eggs *y* thighs." It stuck with me. The hot afternoon, the busy sidewalk—all of it. A narrative gradually formed around the encounter taking on both literal and figurative shape. The story eventually made it to pen, and then to print. When I sat down to write *Chickens,* I set out to write a novel about women not expected by their family or society to succeed—yet do. A book with an intelligent storyline, disturbing beauty and a little controversy. A book that reflects the modern Latina experience. In a sense I wrote the novel I wanted to read. *Q: Was getting published difficult? * Yes! My last book, *Spitfire*, was rejected by all of the big publishing houses. They claimed it had no mass-market appeal. I could not believe a book about a receptionist who suspects her Dockers-wearing, Hootie and the Blowfish-loving boss of being a serial killer wasn't worth a read? Why wouldn't a female protagonist with an acid wit not have mass market appeal? Was it because she was Latina? Amazon had just started a mystery imprint called Thomas & Mercer. I was pretty discouraged by that point. Fortunately, they found my book refreshing. With precious few books by Mexican-American writers out there, I was grateful to find a publisher with the* huevos rancheros* to give my book a shot. The book sold so well it was translated into German, of all languages. *Q: Which other books have you written? * I am the author of *The Directory of Saints *(Dutton/Penguin)1996, *Homegrown Healing: Traditional Home Remedies from Mexico *(Putnam/Berkely) 1998, and *Spitfire *(Thomas & Mercer) 2012. *Q: When did you realize you were a writer? Do you have a writing routine? * I think people have a proclivity toward being creative. Writers take in the world through all of their senses and either process that sensory overload by jotting something down, or finding another creative outlet. If I don't have a healthy outlet I go a little crazy. I write in the morning because I'm still operating below the level of conscious thought. I never work at night. The days' reality kills the creative buzz. *Q: Tell us about Annette. Background? * My parents are from Jalisco, Mexico. When they speak English they sound like Ricky Ricardo. I'm from Santa Ana and am the youngest of five kids. I was named after a Mouseketeer. My mother wanted one of us to have an "American" name. As fate would have it, I worked at Disneyland while in high school. I was forced to wear a paper hat and a name tag. When people asked if Annette Funichello was my mother, I would say, deadpan, “Yes.” I moved to San Francisco when I turned 21. I spent the next decade backpacking around the world, touring nearly every continent on my own. I recently moved near Seattle where I live with my partner, Pip and our two rescue dogs. *Q: Would you like to share anything else? * Yes. The first chapter. It follows. May it be a worthy escape. :) Praise for *Women Are Like Chickens: * *All Eggs, Breast and Thighs* *"Some of the most interesting, well-drawn characters in contemporary Chicana literature. I recommend it highly. * *I am sure it will garner many awards. It shines.” *—Rudolfo Anaya, author of *Bless Me, Ultima* *"Annette Sandoval's wise and whimsical novel is the tale of two sisters their circle of friends and mouth-watering descriptions **of * *foods we all love. Her story of female friendship and empowerment strikes universal chords that will resonate with all readers."* —Michael Nava, author of *The City of Palaces *and *the Henry Rios* novels Chapter 1 MR. CERNUDA DECIDES TO KILL HIMSELF 1978 CARLOS CERNUDA DECIDED TO END HIS LIFE during a rerun of *I Love Lucy**. *He was sitting next to his wife on the living room’s plastic slipcovered couch. Their two teenage daughters watched TV from the recently raked shag carpet. One of the girls would occasionally get up to adjust the reception by rotating the coat hanger antenna. With the not-so-agonizing decision finally made, he tuned back into the show. It was the episode where Lucy places a bet with Ricky. She was going to keep from buying a hat for longer than he could keep from losing his temper. Mr. Cernuda caught himself before he said aloud, “Why a hat? A Cohiba cigar I could understand, but a *pinche* hat?” As if picking up the vibrations of the question through her jaw, Mrs. Cernuda nodded once. “I *hate* Lucy.” Her tone was so full of loathing that Mr. Cernuda resisted the urge to gape at his wife. The daughters knew better than to look back at their mother. In the wilderness they called home, eye contact was an act of aggression. Mrs. Cernuda spoke again. In his periphery vision, she looked just like a beanbag with a russet potato for a head. “Lucy is so spoiled. She can’t cook and never bothers to clean their apartment. She’s always spending her husband’s money and doing things she shouldn’t be doing behind his back. Now what kind of a wife is that?” Mr. Cernuda was thinking how familiar that sounded when the potato spoke again. “And what kind of a name is ‘Ricky Ricardo’ anyway? Did his parents really name him ‘Ricardo Ricardo?’ You see. That’s what happens when *los otros *write about us. They always get it all wrong!” Alejandra cautiously spoke to the *chancla *dangling from her mother’s big toe, aware that she could wield the house sandal with the precision of a ninja throwing star. “Enrique. His name is Enrique Ricardo. Not Ricardo Ricardo.” “Oh.” Annoyed by the correction, Mrs. Cernuda sunk deeper into the cushions, causing the plastic slipcovers to pass synthetic wind. “Poor Ricky. If he married a good Mexican woman instead of that...he would have been much better off.” Alejandra drew in a deep breath before saying through clenched teeth, “He’s Cuban, Mother.” She braced for the flying *chancla.* “I know that,” Mrs. Cernuda said, offended by her eldest daughter’s oppositional tone. “He’s Catholic and he speaks Spanish. If that’s good enough for God, it’s good enough for me.” On the screen, Enrique bent Lucy over his knee and started to spank her. Mrs. Cernuda perked up. “Harder! Hit her harder!” Mr. Cernuda watched as his spouse cheered on the domestic abuser. He felt his earlier fatigue return as his vision blurred with tears. This was too awful. Then, at the end of the day, this. As he listened to the laugh track he wondered how many members of the audience were dead. The newly conceived plan to skip out on the rest of his life filled Mr. Cernuda with giddy laughter. But logistics tugged him back to where his soul hid. How am I going to do it? It should look like an accident. Mr. Cernuda suddenly became serene as an idea formed. I own a restaurant. Accidents are always happening there. Chapter 2 MRS. CERNUDA MOVES AWAY AFTER MR. CERNUDA’S UNEXPECTED DEATH, most of the regular customers stopped patronizing Cacahuates Restaurante. It was not that the people of the Mission District didn’t feel sad for the Cernuda women, now without a husband and a father. It was just that everyone knew his widow was running the restaurant, and no one wanted to spend *good *money on a bad meal... *Glossary* *Cacahuates* – Peanuts; an expletive kids use when grownups are within earshot, and vice versa; the loophole that turns crude profanity into benign food, like saying, son-of-a- biscuit, or kiss my ass-paragus *Chanclas* – House slippers; flip flops worn typically by Latina mothers and can be easily removed to be thrown; the deadliest weapon known to Latino kids *Pinche* – An adjective describing something as insignificant, lousy, miserable or worthless; literally means tight, stingy, ungenerous *Women Are Like Chickens: All Eggs, Breast and Thighs* by Annette Sandoval, Harvard Square Editions Release date: February 1, 2019 Trade Paperback Literary Fiction Price: $22.95 ISBN: 978-1-941861-65-3 Available through Barnes and Noble, Amazon and bookstores everywhere For an eARC or an ARC contact Annette at heyannette@icloud.com or Simone Weingarten at sw@harvardsquareeditions.org Simone's site is at https://harvardsquareeditions.org Visit my blog at https://thetortillapress.wordpress.com Bonus Slang y Spanish Glossary Abogángster – A corrupt lawyer; the word derives from abogado (lawyer) and gangster Albóndigas – Meatballs; a traditional Mexican meatball soup; Spanish history traces the soup back to the Moors from the Arab invasion in 711 AD. Some food historians believe that albóndigas are of ancient Roman descent. Agua de sandia - Watermelon water (ask for recipe) ¡Aguas! - Watch out!; head’s up; What Latinos say when cops are spotted; literally means waters; Historically, women in Mexico would holler the word before tossing dirty water from their window to warn passing people. Amá – Mom; used mostly in rural areas of Mexico Ándale pues – OK then; go on Apúrate - Hurry up; hustle Ay te huacho/ay te watcho - See you later Babosa – Slug; dribbler; fool; simpleton Barrida - Sweeping; a ritual cleansing for purification. An object (egg, rosemary brush, lemon, crucifix, etc.) is used to sweep away negative energies. Bebé - The most common word for baby. Always masculine, even when referring to a girl. Birria - A spicy Mexican meat stew usually made with goat, lamb or mutton Bote, el - Literally means can; jail Cantinflas - Mario Moreno Reyes (1911 - 1993) Actor; Charlie Chaplin of Mexico; Cantinflas made 49 films, but is best known for his role as Passepartout in the 1956 film Around the World in 80 Days. Chale - From échale, means throw it out; no way! China/os - Slang for person with curly hair; Asian; trousers Chonies – Spanish slang for underwear; derived from the Spanish word for calzones Chota, La - Police, the Criaturas - Kids; a cognate of “creature,” is sometimes used as an affectionate term. Criatura is always feminine, even if it refers to a boy. Crudo – Raw; Hungover Culo – Ass; booty; buttocks Curandera - A woman who practices folk medicine; healer; a person who cures by using medicinal plants, charms, massage, and faith healing.